More Life Lessons In The Valley of the Sun

1.  A Subaru is not made to ford rivers.

2.  Don’t buy sex toys from people in Shoshone. 

3.  Or from people named Bobby Crystal.

4.  Naked in the woods smells like campfire and Budweiser.

5.  Always mark your spitter.

6.  Life is all about goals and limits.  “What do you want to do tonight?” “Get drunk.” “Goals are important.”  “But not blackout drunk again.”  “Limits are important too.”

7.  You don’t lose your girlfriend, you lose your turn.

8.  Trying to charm a Red Bull girl out of a can of Red Bull is like trying to charm a stripper out of her bra.

9.  Men with airplanes apparently don’t exist.

10.  Friends in Xterras do exist.